Manifesto For Dogs

This is a complete copy of my Manifesto for Dogs. The last update was made on 14 Junes 2012

The Manifesto is a work in progress and reflects my current thinking, so don’t think that having visited this page once you’ve seen it all!

Holidays

  1. Dogs shall be entitled to be consulted about when holidays are to be taken, where they are to be spent and in what accommodation
  2. Dogs shall not be left behind when humans go on holidays and shall certainly not be subjected to kennels.
  3. Dogs shall be entitled to take as many toys as they like on holiday
  4. Dogs shall not travel in the boot, but shall be given sufficient space on the back seat to travel in style. Appropriate rest breaks, with noms, shall be provided. Dogs shall be consulted on music choices for the journey.
  5. Nowhere shall be considered to be out of bounds to dogs within the holiday home.
  6. Dogs shall accompany humans on all days out, particularly if they involve the beach

Noms

  1. What is mine, is mine.
  2. What is yours, is mine.
  3. It is perfectly acceptable to hang around the dinner table / kitchen countertops waiting for things to be dropped and you humans shall not tell us to “go away”
  4. All noms shall be delivered on time, or earlier. We shall not be forced to wait for our noms because you are “busy” or “out”.
  5. Humans shall not ignore dogs when we give you the “feed me” look, even if this look is given only seconds after eating the previous noms.
  6. Bacon and sausages shall be provided on request.
  7. If we offer to “pre-wash” the dishes, this offer of assistance shall be gratefully received [for all those of my furiends who like to do pre-washing].
  8. Kibble does not really count as noms.
  9. Despite what you humans might think, treats are not noms and do not count towards our dietary intake.
  10. Do not try to fool us by placing medications in our noms. We know it is there and will lick the bowl clean round it.
  11. If we find something to munch on whilst our on our walks, we shall be left to do so in peace. This applies no matter how vile you humans might think what we are eating is.

Walks

  1. Walks will be provided on demand; it is never “too cold”, “too wet” or “too dark” to go on a walk.
  2. Coats / Jumpers etc will never, ever, ever be worn (exceptions may be made for greyhounds & whippets, but only if they want to) [this manifesto point is made especially for my pals @lucyyellowlab and @rudipuds].
  3. Stoopid harnesses which claim to control pulling are strictly forbidden.
  4. Off-lead walks are to be the norm. Of course, there may be occasions when leads are a necessity but in those cases short leads are strictly forbidden and long extendable ones will be used to give us maximum freedom.
  5. If we wish to change direction or stop suddenly, this is acceptable and is not evidence of “bad behaviour”.
  6. If we want to walk through the mud, we can. Getting muddy is all part of the overall walk experience.
  7. If we want to paddle in puddles or swim in the sea, we can. Getting wet is all part of the overall walk experience.
  8. Rolling in something is all part of the overall walk experience and humans will not interfere
  9. When (6), (7) and (8) apply, there will be no “bath” or “hose down” when we get home.
  10. If we wish to socialise with other dogs, we may. Humans should simply wait patiently whilst we play and should in no circumstances attempt to call us away simply so they can continue with the walk. After all, who is being walked here?

Swimming

  1. Swimming is not an activity that is contingent on good weather, light or the summer months. If a swim is demanded, it will be provided regardless of the above factors.
  2. Swimming with furiends is not an absolute necessity, but can add to the fun. Owners should therefore ensure that appropriate venues are located and used.
  3. A good, deep water source is needed for swimming. Owners will not attempt to pass off some muddy puddle as a “swimming venue”. Where such below-standard patches of water are used in case of dire emergency or desperation this will not constitute a “swim” on the part of the dog.
  4. Swimming can be tiring so a cosy spot within the home must be provided on the return home. Under no circumstances are dogs to be left outside or banned from the furniture until they have “dried off”

I would be delighted if my furiends wished to make suggestions for additional topics to be included and / or manifesto points. Just leave a comment.

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6 thoughts on “Manifesto For Dogs”

  1. sekrit notashuns left elsewhere on yr blog
    *winks*
    WeK

  2. I love this. Going to print it out and put it on our refridge for all to see and, most importantly, remember. Thanks, Millie!

    Sasha

  3. Alfie, The Rhodesian Ridgeback. said:

    I’m using my human’s phone to reply to this, I’ve got her very well trained.

    Just a couple of points to add to the manifesto. . . . Suitable range of refreshments to be made available throughout the day and a suitable number of cuddle periods to be arranged at times to suit the dog.

    Add those and we shall take over the world, I’d vote for us;)

  4. We Love Love Love this manifesto! I think this might be the traveling manifesto…because there are many other commandments in a general manifesto which might be added. I can think of a few…including: each and every day shall include a walk, hike or run with me and at least one of my humans; there shall be at least one bully stick provided per week; at no time are any of my humans to refuse playing with me if ever I present my (ball, frisbee, stick, tug toy, etc); I shall sleep on the bed next to the humans, or between them, as I deem necessary; Ice cubes shall be added to my water dish on all days where the temperature exceeds 75F.

    That’s what I can come up with at the moment…but I like where you are going with this. If you flesh it out a bit more, I might try to get you to let me post it on my blog (credited/linked) of course!

    Do yo have a facebook page? I want to like you. Well I already like you. I just need a place to make that official. :-p

  5. You are genious!!!!! Nuff said me finks!

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