The Narrator: Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, dogs and cats lived together in peace and harmony

They were free to run, snooze, nom and play to their hearts’ content. The swimmers swam, the climbers climbed, the diggers dug

And if sometimes the dogs chased the cats… or the cats teased the dogs… well, that’s the way of the world isn’t it?

Sometimes the anipals sighed because they didn’t know how to find girlfuriends or boyfuriends but mostly they were happy

And life was peaceful… until one day, a commotion was heard in a castle buried deep in the woods…

Act 1, Scene 1 – A Castle

Our curtain opens to reveal The Queen & Prince Charming in the Grand Ballroom of the Castle

The Queen: Charming, my boy, it is high time you found a wife

Prince Charming: *whines* But mum, I sooner be out swimming and I’m too young

The Queen: You must think of your responsibility to the kingdom, now your father has gone OTRB

Prince Charming: That was only last week isn’t it a bit, you know, soon

The Queen: Charming! We need an heir or else Cousin UglyDog will inherit

Prince Charming: Oh great, first it’s a marriage now it’s pups …

The Queen: I don’t want to hear it Charming, after all who’s Queen?

Prince Charming: You are *sad ears*

The Queen: That’s settled then. *calling* Dogdini

Dogdini comes charging in from stage right, swerving to a halt before the Queen

Dogdini: Yes, your highness you howled

The Queen: Charming’s getting married

Dogdini: Who’s the lucky girl Charming?

Prince Charming: How would I know, I’ve only just had it sprung on me *sighs*

The Queen: You two must organise a Grand Sausage Ball where Charming can find an eligible lady

Dogdini: Right you are your highness

The Queen: And the Ball will be this Saturday

Dogdini: *gulps* You don’t want much do you?

The Queen: What was that Dogdini? Speak up. I’m getting a little deaf

Dogdini: Errr… I was just saying it will be a pleasure

The Queen: Right well get on with it then. And don’t be inviting any riff-raff

Dogdini: No riff raff *writes note*… err what does that mean?

The Queen: No cats stupid

Dogdini: Well why didn’t she just say?

The Prince & Dogdini start squabbling over the event

The Queen: *Groans* this is going to be a disaster

The Queen departs stage right

Prince Charming: Right lot of help you were. Now what do I do? I’d planned to go geocaching this weekend

Dogdini: Can I suggest that you play along with the idea & then say there’s no-one suitable?

Prince Charming: Fine. Are we having baconbeer & sausages?

Dogdini: Charming, you are the Prince so you can have what you want *scribbles furiously*

Prince Charming: Don’t suppose there’s any chance of there being pawtinis as well?

Dogdini: Absolutely, you can have pawnapes, cosmopawlitans …..

Prince Charming: Hmm I do like the odd pawnape or two

Dogdini: And we’ll be sure to invite all the pretty girls … Just not the really pretty ones *winks*

Prince Charming: OK, you had better get organising. I mean what can possibly go wrong?

The curtain closes on the pals slapping each other on the back to celebrate their cunning plan

Act 1, Scene 2 – A Kennel by the Woods

The curtain opens to reveal three anipals sat outside a small cottage in the woods

Goldoglocks: *sighs* Another tedious day in the woods. Nothing ever happens here

EllieBell: What do you mean Goldoglocks, the woods are great

MollieDoll: Absolutely Els. Think of all the fabulous things to roll in

EllieBell: Oh yes Mols … *drools* deer poo

MollieDoll: No, no, no Els ….. bear poo. It’s much better than deer, it lasts for days

Goldoglocks: Is that all you two ever thing about?

EllieBell: No. We think about sausages too

MollieDoll: And finding a handsome prince to marry Els *puts paws together*

Goldoglocks: *snorts* Like that is going to happen in the middle of the woods

EllieBell: It might. Anything can happen

Goldoglocks: OK, let’s get on with it… *standing up reluctantly*

MollieDoll: On with what sisfur?

Goldoglocks: You know the bit where we go to the bears’ cottage and eat their sausages. We do it every day … it’s tradition

EllieBell: Oh that

MollieDoll: Couldn’t we do something different for a change?

Goldoglocks: Like what? *sits down again*

EllieBell: I don’t know, but there are only so many burnt or undercooked sausages a girl can eat

MollieDoll: How about going to see your cousin Cinderellapaws? She did say we could pop in anytime

EllieBell: That’s a great idea Mols *high paws*

Goldoglocks: I think she may have just been being polite

MollieDoll: Well that’s silly, why ask if you don’t mean it?

Goldoglocks: Do I have to explain it all over again? She is my cousin ….

EllieBell: *interrupts* yes yes yes… we get the picture, the Baron’s broke but they don’t want people to know

MollieDoll: But we’re only small, it’s not as though we eat a lot *plaintive eyes*

EllieBell: And Cinderellapaws does cook lovely sausages

Goldoglocks: That’s true. Mind you nobody can be worse than the bears at cooking sausages

EllieBell: And the Baron does live near the Castle ….

MollieDoll: So there’s bound to be lots of eligible batcheldogs

Goldoglocks: When you put it like that. Come on girls what are we waiting for. Let’s pack

The three exit the stage in a hurry via the kennel door


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