The Narrator: Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, dogs and cats lived together in peace and harmony
They were free to run, snooze, nom and play to their hearts’ content. The swimmers swam, the climbers climbed, the diggers dug
And if sometimes the dogs chased the cats… or the cats teased the dogs… well, that’s the way of the world isn’t it?
Sometimes the anipals sighed because they didn’t know how to find girlfuriends or boyfuriends but mostly they were happy
And life was peaceful… until one day, a commotion was heard in a castle buried deep in the woods…
Act 1, Scene 1 – A Castle
Our curtain opens to reveal The Queen & Prince Charming in the Grand Ballroom of the Castle
The Queen: Charming, my boy, it is high time you found a wife
Prince Charming: *whines* But mum, I sooner be out swimming and I’m too young
The Queen: You must think of your responsibility to the kingdom, now your father has gone OTRB
Prince Charming: That was only last week isn’t it a bit, you know, soon
The Queen: Charming! We need an heir or else Cousin UglyDog will inherit
Prince Charming: Oh great, first it’s a marriage now it’s pups …
The Queen: I don’t want to hear it Charming, after all who’s Queen?
Prince Charming: You are *sad ears*
The Queen: That’s settled then. *calling* Dogdini
Dogdini comes charging in from stage right, swerving to a halt before the Queen
Dogdini: Yes, your highness you howled
The Queen: Charming’s getting married
Dogdini: Who’s the lucky girl Charming?
Prince Charming: How would I know, I’ve only just had it sprung on me *sighs*
The Queen: You two must organise a Grand Sausage Ball where Charming can find an eligible lady
Dogdini: Right you are your highness
The Queen: And the Ball will be this Saturday
Dogdini: *gulps* You don’t want much do you?
The Queen: What was that Dogdini? Speak up. I’m getting a little deaf
Dogdini: Errr… I was just saying it will be a pleasure
The Queen: Right well get on with it then. And don’t be inviting any riff-raff
Dogdini: No riff raff *writes note*… err what does that mean?
The Queen: No cats stupid
Dogdini: Well why didn’t she just say?
The Prince & Dogdini start squabbling over the event
The Queen: *Groans* this is going to be a disaster
The Queen departs stage right
Prince Charming: Right lot of help you were. Now what do I do? I’d planned to go geocaching this weekend
Dogdini: Can I suggest that you play along with the idea & then say there’s no-one suitable?
Prince Charming: Fine. Are we having baconbeer & sausages?
Dogdini: Charming, you are the Prince so you can have what you want *scribbles furiously*
Prince Charming: Don’t suppose there’s any chance of there being pawtinis as well?
Dogdini: Absolutely, you can have pawnapes, cosmopawlitans …..
Prince Charming: Hmm I do like the odd pawnape or two
Dogdini: And we’ll be sure to invite all the pretty girls … Just not the really pretty ones *winks*
Prince Charming: OK, you had better get organising. I mean what can possibly go wrong?
The curtain closes on the pals slapping each other on the back to celebrate their cunning plan
Act 1, Scene 2 – A Kennel by the Woods
The curtain opens to reveal three anipals sat outside a small cottage in the woods
Goldoglocks: *sighs* Another tedious day in the woods. Nothing ever happens here
EllieBell: What do you mean Goldoglocks, the woods are great
MollieDoll: Absolutely Els. Think of all the fabulous things to roll in
EllieBell: Oh yes Mols … *drools* deer poo
MollieDoll: No, no, no Els ….. bear poo. It’s much better than deer, it lasts for days
Goldoglocks: Is that all you two ever thing about?
EllieBell: No. We think about sausages too
MollieDoll: And finding a handsome prince to marry Els *puts paws together*
Goldoglocks: *snorts* Like that is going to happen in the middle of the woods
EllieBell: It might. Anything can happen
Goldoglocks: OK, let’s get on with it… *standing up reluctantly*
MollieDoll: On with what sisfur?
Goldoglocks: You know the bit where we go to the bears’ cottage and eat their sausages. We do it every day … it’s tradition
EllieBell: Oh that
MollieDoll: Couldn’t we do something different for a change?
Goldoglocks: Like what? *sits down again*
EllieBell: I don’t know, but there are only so many burnt or undercooked sausages a girl can eat
MollieDoll: How about going to see your cousin Cinderellapaws? She did say we could pop in anytime
EllieBell: That’s a great idea Mols *high paws*
Goldoglocks: I think she may have just been being polite
MollieDoll: Well that’s silly, why ask if you don’t mean it?
Goldoglocks: Do I have to explain it all over again? She is my cousin ….
EllieBell: *interrupts* yes yes yes… we get the picture, the Baron’s broke but they don’t want people to know
MollieDoll: But we’re only small, it’s not as though we eat a lot *plaintive eyes*
EllieBell: And Cinderellapaws does cook lovely sausages
Goldoglocks: That’s true. Mind you nobody can be worse than the bears at cooking sausages
EllieBell: And the Baron does live near the Castle ….
MollieDoll: So there’s bound to be lots of eligible batcheldogs
Goldoglocks: When you put it like that. Come on girls what are we waiting for. Let’s pack
The three exit the stage in a hurry via the kennel door
TO BE CONTINUED ….
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