I seem to have touched a nerve with my last post about holidays. I can’t believe the number of twitter replies I’ve had on the subject, as well as other suggestions for inclusion in my Manifesto for Dogs. Keep those comments coming in.

My furiend Cassie, aka MrsDog, who has guest posted for me before, made a number of suggestions when commenting on my last post for additional Manifesto points on holidays. So whilst the topic was fresh in my doggie mind, I thought I had better address the issues raised.

For the purpose of this post we will assume that the humans have decided where we are all going for our holiday.

First up, toys. If we are to be happy on holiday, we need toys. You will note the word is in the plural rather than the singular. We would like to take the entire content of our toybox, but reluctantly accept that that is not likely to happen. However, one toy just will not cut the mustard. If you insist on us taking just one toy, then boredom will set in and we will have to resort to other methods of keeping ourselves amused. Anyway, taking an appropriate number of toys (at least 5) is hardly likely to make much difference to the amount of items crammed into the car given that it will undoubtedly be packed full of the stuff that you humans insist on taking only for that same stuff to return at the end of the holiday completely untouched.

Next on the agenda then is the tricky “planning the journey” element. For the record us dogs do not appreciate being squished into the car between suitcases and other holiday paraphernalia as though we were an afterthought. We want space to stretch out, recline, sit up and watch the world go by. We want a spot next to an open window, so we can hang our head outside and sniff. Being placed in the boot is not ideal, after all we want to see where we are going, not where we have been. If you would like to try sitting for however many hundred miles looking backwards, please be my guest and I’ll have your spot. Bet I know who will get travel sick first! We also require decent music to listen to, I for one do not look forward to 6 hours in a car listening to prog-rock, although thankfully humum is normally in command of the music and she hates it as much as I do. Pauses in the journey are also essential, preferably accompanied by one of those burger things you humans normally pay an extortionate amount of money for at motorway service stations.

Having survived the journey, there is then the thorny issue of adjustments to the holiday venue to satsfy our doggie needs. No matter what rules may apply at home, the rules are different on holiday. After all, you humans think you can get away with drinking more on holiday & making a fool of yourselves with silly sunhats etc. Rule number one, nowhere is out of bounds in the holiday home. Rule number two, nowhere is out of bounds in the holiday home. Rule number three, nowhere is out of bounds in the holiday home. Yes I know I’ve said the same thing three times, but it’s called emphasis. I think that’s about it.

Finally then I turn to days out. This is simple, if you’re going then so are we, unless you are going shopping in which case we’ll just be snoozing on the bed (and no, humums, we won’t believe you if you tell us that you are going shopping every day of your holiday; do you really expect us to accept that the hudads would put up with that?)

And so, I add the following points to the holidays section in “The Manifesto for Dogs”:

  1. Dogs shall be entitled to take as many toys as they like on holiday
  2. Dogs shall not travel in the boot, but shall be given sufficient space on the back seat to travel in style. Appropriate rest breaks, with noms, shall be provided. Dogs shall be consulted on music choices for the journey.
  3. Nowhere shall be considered to be out of bounds to dogs within the holiday home.
  4. Dogs shall accompany humans on all days out, particularly if they involve the beach.