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I’m not a dog with a squirrel fixation, unlike some of my four-pawed furiends, but I have been giving them some thought.

Now I know that many people think squirrels look cute with their big bushy tails. Some people also think of them being acrobatic, leaping from tree to tree or running along telephone wires. But I say there is more to squirrels than many people think.

Too often I read of my fellow dogs being taunted by squirrels sat high up in trees or jumping from branch to branch. Worse still, some squirrels have been known to throw pine cones etc at dogs simply because the dogs dared to stand underneath what the squirrels considered to be “their tree” – I am sure that no amount of woofing on the part of the dogs concerned could possibly justify such outrageous actions.

I have therefore decided,in my infinite wisdom, that squirrels are definitely not to be trusted. In fact, I wouldn’t be at all suprised to discover they have formed a secret organisation plotting global domination, much like the baddies in the James Bond movies.

I therefore call upon all furiends to stand up and be counted in the fight against squirreldom, whether grey, red, ground or prairie. We need to take back our gardens and our parks so we can be free to enyoy ourselves without threat of harm. We need to educate our humans to stop making “aawwww” noises every time they see a squirrel. But more than that …. we need to show them who is boss*.

Know your enemy

* for the avoidance of doubt, I am not an advocate of killing or maiming any animal, even a squirrel.

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